Wanting Not To Know

I know.  I know I know.  And yet I don't.  And so there is a part of me that doesn't want to know...what I know but do not know.


Construction in my throat...threatening confusion and what feels like defeat.

I know this edge.  Something is coming...is arriving...is already here...something...big.

I have felt pregnant with Triplets for quite some time now...and what this feels like is the last contractions before the birth canal is wide open.

I know there are babies coming...but I have yet to meet them...and I can do NOTHING more to facilitate the birth...but trust and rest in perfect faith...and not knowing.

Shanti Zimmermann