I have had a craving for feminine leadership...for a really long time.
Like a LONGING deep in my soul I searched for it..I wondered where are my women, where are my sisters, where are the ones not doing it like a man!?
Not just the wild women rebels who I so adore and not just my hippie mammas that I could hang with all day and not my soul sisters in business employing all the masculine tools who I look up to.
No, I wanted a fully embodied woman, who moves only from her own intuition, who invites instead of pushes, who allows instead of demands, who loves no matter what and who refuses to go to war for ANY reason.
A woman who shows up without anything other than herself, who knows her own heart and is so straight and honest I could trust her from the very first second.
A woman who didn't yell at me or act tough or show me her power by being overbearing.
A woman who saw me and wanted only for me to be myself. A woman who would support me and encourage me to trust myself.
A woman who loves men. A woman who loves women. A women whos only purpose is to empower anyone who is willing and to inspire just because she IS.
A woman who isn't afraid of money or men or women or society or the judgement of others.
A woman who feels her emotions and shares them fully...vunerably.
A woman in whom I could share all of me. My ambition, my fear, my secrets, my tender moments, my triumphs and she would stand there, loving me in all of it, Believing In Me.
A woman with boundaries so clear that it appears that she has none.
A woman who doesn't compete or compare or use manipulation or bullying to sell or build her business.
A woman I could follow and know that it didn't make me less.
I craved her, I made crazy strange decisions in my attempt to find her, I looked for her in every woman and I found pieces of her everywhere, even in men <3
I begged the universe to bring her to me, to show me that I am not alone, I cried from the longing I had for her to show up in my life.
And today, she looked me right in the eyes, and said 'I am right here.'
And she is me and tears stream down my face.
I was looking outside of myself...I so badly wanted her to be outside of me...so she could show me the way I so craved..the way of intuition..the way of listening only to herself...I wanted her validation so fucking bad.
And she is ME. The only validation there is or ever was.
I stand for me and for every women who longs to hear herself and her own wisdom...not as rebellion, not as a way to prove her value in a world of men, not against men, not as better than men or any other woman...simply because it is the only place I ever, truly, feel alive.
I tremble in my own skin. The one I have been looking for..is me.