Instead...I Choose To Feel
I don't know if you will understand what I am about to share...but share it I must.
As I sit here..tears streaming down my face..heart sobbing open.
I am touched by life and I am touched by war and I am touched by the utter confusion that I see and I am touched by misunderstandings and strife.
Being touched like this is really uncomfortable..while the tears fall effortlessly..my chest and throat constrict..sitting in a chair I struggle against the desire to curl up in a ball and sob myself into oblivion.
My mind wants to distract me from this visceral, emotional experience..it wants to scroll on facebook or positive think it away or go workout..it wants to distract from the intensity of feeling this deeply.
Instead. I FEEL. I write this. I AM.
In this space I am SAFETY itself. When I allow the distractions...I become dangerous, unconscious, asleep to what is real.
What I feel when I see a story about Syria or the fucking crazy political shite going on ALL over the world or a clip about human trafficking or see anyone being treated without honor or repect..is REAL...what I feel is REAL.
No I am not reacting emotionally in a space where I 'should' be acting logically.
I am responding INTELLIGENTLY to life.
Responding with Emotional Clarity.
And as I do so..sitting here...I begin to feel that we are also..as a human race...sooooooo fucking beautiful...we care so much...we love..we hurt...we rise up to take care of one another...we are ordinarily extraordinary.
Yes..in this space with utter grief and hopelessness...lives hope and joy and soul shattering beauty.
I don't have to think my way into it..I FEEL it and it just IS.
Emotions Deserve To Live and They Are Magic.
Triggers...beacons calling us home. Feeling it all is Freedom.