Posts tagged choice
Instead...I Choose To Feel

I don't know if you will understand what I am about to share...but share it I must.

As I sit here..tears streaming down my face..heart sobbing open.

I am touched by life and I am touched by war and I am touched by the utter confusion that I see and I am touched by misunderstandings and strife.

Being touched like this is really uncomfortable..while the tears fall effortlessly..my chest and throat constrict..sitting in a chair I struggle against the desire to curl up in a ball and sob myself into oblivion.

My mind wants to distract me from this visceral, emotional experience..it wants to scroll on facebook or positive think it away or go workout..it wants to distract from the intensity of feeling this deeply.

Instead. I FEEL. I write this. I AM.

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Choice

Choice. Full Circle.

0. As a very young child...there is no such thing as choice..there is simply being whatever is happening, pure experience.

1. Lost in the concept of choice as a HUGE responsibility, as a heavy weight, and a way of creating blame, shame, and guilt. I choose that so now I am responsible for all of life and everything that happens. A twisted idea about responsibility arises in the stage of choice. This is pure victimhood.

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